And because the Czarina regularly tells me that I'm a goober, and she's right, I realize that I need to update the list of DIY and otherwise nonconventional purveyors of Christmas cheer. Mind you, consider the source: one of my co-workers just started putting up Christmas decorations, and I've already let him know that my department is going into retaliation in a full Nightmare Before Christmas motif. I'll even pull out the Alien action figures for the "Church of Immaculate Incubation" nativity if I have to do so.

Firstly, I completely forgot to mention the Czarina herself, she of Tawanda Jewelry, who's going to be one of the frontliners at the Winter Art Fair at St. Bernard of Clairvaux Catholic School this Saturday. I will not be selling plants out there, as this is all her show, but I will be glad to answer questions about her latest pieces. Please keep me busy, or twenty-one years of rage against my Catholic upbringing will express itself, and you don't want to see it in action. We're still banned from the Methodist church show in Fort Worth where we were stationed next to the artist's depictions of the Twelve Apostles, and I asked "So where's Rufus?"

Secondly, longtime friends already know about my famed tandoori turkey recipe, and I'm trying to adapt this to Quorn or oyster mushrooms so that I can share it with my vegan friends. The secret is that I'm getting my tandoori marsala mix from Dallas Spice Market, one of the best-kept secrets of the Dallas Farmer's Market. Over there, it's Kurry King and has been for years, but they're now selling online and I can't recommend them highly enough. As with all of my other recommendations, they're good folks, and I think they'll surprise you with the freshness and variety of their spices. As it is, the Czarina's family comes perilously close to violence if I don't bring a tandoori turkey to Christmas dinner, and they've noticed that it's gotten even better since I started using this tandoori marsala blend.

Thirdly, you can never go wrong with music for the holidays, especially the music that helps flush the thirteen thousandth rendition of "Santa Baby" out of your brain. I would like to note that both the steampunk band Abney Park and the science-driven band The Consortium of Genius are required listening in the greenhouse, for different reasons, and their works are available on CD and on download. (I'd also like to mention that Dr. Milo Thaddeus Pinkerton III of the CoG is working on a new DVD release for February, but it's not currently available for pre-order. Just go buy lots and lots of music in anticipation. The same goes for Abney Park: who else will offer unlimited downloads for two months for $45?)

And I open the floor again. Any further suggestions for additions to the list?